“I just called to tell you …” Well he didn’t say he loved me, but he did say I have some “black shadowing” on my lungs and some enlarged lymph nodes. I have to give him … that’s Dr Mike (for those of you keeping score) … his props. I went for the chest x-ray just yesterday. He called me with the results, just moments ago. He’s already got me set up to do a chest CT scan. Quick. Direct. Efficient. That’s how I like my physicians …. then again that’s how I like most people. But this is Seattle. Passive aggressive is the modus operandi here … but I digress.
As I go through the laundry list of symptoms … swelling ankles, check … sores on legs, check … appearance of non-caseating granulomas, check … shadowing on lungs, check … swollen lymph nodes, check. Hell … that’s one big laundry list … and it tells me I’m washed up. Well maybe not so much washed up as hosed. Right now it’s tough to know what I’m feeling. So I’ll wait on the CT scan & see what news that brings.
For those of you who haven’t Googled sarcoidosis yet …. it’s an insidious and uncomfortably incurable disease. Symptoms can come & go and the wonderful little granulomas can form in any organ. Heart any one? Lungs you say? The eyes have it? Ninety-eight percent of people who have sarcoidosis have it in their lungs. Hence … the chesty x-ray & CT scan.
So where to from here? Well … back to Dr Mike on Monday. With plenty of bloody tests & chesty films. Or in my case that might read filmy chest. Yes I use humor & satire to get through … and many visits with my shrink. But I also get to talk to my boyfriend about all this as well. And now … I have my blah blah blog to use as another tool. Rant. Rave. Roll. Hmmm sounds like the new name of my blog. (Blah Blah Blog is also being used by others.)
I don’t feel alone. And that’s a good thing. I have plenty of support. and that’s a better thing. But what will ultimately do me the most good are hard cold facts. Information is now my best friend.
I can’t say that this disease is my enemy. I have enough internal battles going on as it is. This is more the “lodger” who won’t move on. You notice him every once in a while. You may have to speak to him sternly, every now and again. But right now … we REALLY need to talk!
With that … it’s time for me to process … and talk to that insidious little lodger!