Just when I thought my life might be falling back into place … my melon exploded! It’s difficult to explain, it’s harder to accept … Transient Global Amnesia.

It seems I lost a day of my life. Not figuratively. Literally. It’s difficult for me to frame the story, because most of it has been pieced together through investigation and other people’s first hand accounts of the events. Watching all those episodes of “NYPD Blue”, “Law & Order”, and “Homicide: Life On The Street” may have paid off in some odd way … helping me cull information and try to make sense of what happened to me through an investigation of the facts.

Transient Global Amnesia (TGA).  It’s the medical term for what I experienced Friday March 11, 2011. At some point after 3:00 PM my ability to create new memories ceased. Though I was able to walk, talk and see I was not able to remember that entire day. It was as if I was sleepwalking for a good part of the day. Even though I was conscious in the eyes of others, from my perspective there was nothingness. Quiet, painless, darkness. Nothing more. My brain just said “TMI” and flipped a switch and my brain turned off. Radio silence.
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I can’t believe that it’s been six weeks since I started working out again. In that six weeks I’ve dropped fifteen pounds. Yes FIFTEEN POUNDS! I have been workin’ my butt of figuratively and literally. And it feels good!

If I were a goal oriented kind of guy … I’d like to be 198 by my 53rd birthday. That might be unrealistic … but hey I sure can try! BTW … for those of you interested and wanting to lavish gifts upon me the date you need to mark in your calendar is January 20, 2010.

All this past summer I was feeling very self-conscious and very ashamed of how “large” I was. None of my previous bathing suits fit me & Chris went out and bought me a single pair of trunks XXL. Fuck! Whether it was the chemotherapy drug (Methotrexate) and the steroid Prednisone I was on last year, fucking up my metabolism & me just feeling like crap for so long … who knows! The end result was being 180 lbs … and not liking it one bit. Continue Reading > > >

Sometimes I wonder where the time goes. Most times I’m so caught up in the mind-numbing sameness of the every day, that I often don’t realize time has passed. Or maybe I just don’t want to consciously recognize I’ve gotten another day older … and as the song goes … deeper in debt.

And to look at the line before, and the one in the song too … I’m also afraid I’m reaching the 16-ton mark. Okay maybe that’s a “little” exaggerated, but I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been. And that is certainly a frightening thought to an aging man. Well at least this aging man. I can’t speak for us all.

My vanity will not allow me to reveal my current weight. Well okay … I currently weigh 20 stones. You do the math! It’s with this in mind I figured it was time. Time to get back to the gym. My doctor has been urging me to. He also offered up this little nugget too. “Joe … you should get back to the gym. Especially now that you are being Continue Reading > > >

There have been a whole host of things that have gone on in the past few weeks.

On the health front … went to see Dr Raghu as a follow up for my Sarcoid. He didn’t put me on any drugs at all and told me he didn’t want to see me for another 6 months. Unless of course something “pops up’. The chemo drug he put me on really “messed” with my system, especially my thyroid & my testosterone levels. My Thyroid is coming back on it’s own, and my testosterone levels are getting back to normal with injections every 10 days. When they reach normal & stay … no more injections either. Woo hoo!

On the communication front … I did something I said I would NEVER do … I joined the Twitter Nation. As can be evidenced by the Twitter Widget on the right side of this here blog. The scary thing is I’m liking it better than Facebook. At least with Twitter there are no Fave 5′s and no other extraneous noise. I can “follow” Continue Reading > > >

Life is dichotomy. Life is duality. The Yin & Yang of light & dark, virtue & evil, up & down … uh … you get the idea. Existential at best. Detached at worst. Round and round goes the world, as does life.

The Good News:

Went to see my pulmonologist today, after a four month hiatus from him or any Sarcoid drugs. He says though active, my Sarcoid is still mild. Like some milk-toast cheddar from Wisconsin. He doesn’t see any link with any of my current symptoms. And let me tell you … there still are plenty.

The Bad News:

In looking at the EKG that Dr Rosenfield did on me a few weeks ago in his office, Dr Raghu says it shows an abnormality. Okay … that’s a scary statement. And looking at my blood test results, my thyroid function is low. Not catastrophic, but this could also add to why I’m still feeling tired. Continue Reading > > >

I feel the need to shower. It’s time to come clean. Not in a drench me with lukewarm  water in an enclosed box kind of thing. I think this is more a metaphoric shower. In my posts talking about my autoimmune disease Sarcoidosis, I’ve always disguised my doctors’ names. It’s time to come clean.

I realized that those folks who do read my posts about Sarcoidosis may be looking for doctors to be their advocates. I know that the process of diagnosis, and just having this disease is emotionally draining. Not knowing where to start, or what doctors to turn to, or ones that even know what the disease is … that’s the hardest part. Not knowing. Feeling alone. Feeling helpless & hopeless.

I guess if I go back an list the characters in this long running play “Living The Sarcoid Life”  I could clear things up. Maybe a list of the ‘advocates’ and the ‘clueless’ might work. But then I also need to think of the liability of talking about the ‘clueless’ … can they sue me for libel? It is only my opinion. For now … just the advocates. Continue Reading > > >

I had a realization just the other day, while on the treadmill at the gym. It was seven years ago this month that I started “Livin’ La Vida Sarcoid”. Well … I should be a bit clearer. It was seven years ago this month I started back at the gym … the first time around. At that time I was lookin’ down the double barrel of my 45th birthday. A momentous occasion, maybe. But something inside of me, it could have been all the fat, self loathing, or the depression, told me it was time to get my glutes to the gym.

I was never the athletic type. Even during my childhood. I was a soft spoken emo-boy at heart. A budding artist even at a young age. Though I must admit, I did start liking the routine of exercise, and the results. I had set a goal, another process, ’till then, I had never know about. My goal? To be under 200 lbs by January 20th, 2002 … my 45th birthday. Continue Reading > > >