This is a follow-up to the post: “A Show of Hands.” It’s funny. I’ve sat here for 30 minutes trying to find a way to start this. Trying to find the most obtuse angle to dive in. Contemplating a witty way to say what I needed to. I’m tired. I’m hurting. And I think my anger will have to be enough for now. Okay … I just need to say it. My Sarcoidosis is flaring up again. What’s really shitty is it’s now creating cystic lesions in the bones of my hands, wrists & fingers. So when I tell you this entry is a pain to write …. take it literally.

I’ve been dreading this moment. The moment when I had to admit to the world that my Sarcoid is back. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! After the X-rays back in August. A three week round of steroids … which did help the swelling and pain vacate. An MRI of my hands and wrists at Viva Las Vegas Radiology …

Yes it is true. It’s been a while since I posted last. But isn’t that nature of blogging? Or is it the nature of my laziness? I’m going with … nature of blogging. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

I guess I could say ‘Oh … I wasn’t doing anything because my hands hurt.’ Or … the steroids they put me on to decrease the inflammation in my hands, which it did, had me very depressed, which I was. Yeah two weeks of tapering steroids will do that to you. And to me too. Oh yeah. THANKS Harriet for correcting my perceived dosage plan. I’m glad you read my little pill calendar/chart. The steroids did help. Now that I’m off the steroids, the pain is back. Not as bad, but I’m still having ‘issues’ with picking up objects, or grasping. Yippy!

Sometimes, I’m told people can see right through me. I never know if they mean I’m transparent, or I’m hiding something, and what is hidden is transparent. A conundrum to say the least. Today I might wish that ‘transparency’ were indeed the case.

It started with a sharp stabbing pain in my right hand. This had occurred, to some degree, in the past. I was told then, it was most likely carpel tunnel syndrome. Okay. I’ll bite. So way back when I was given some smelly bright blue polypro wrist straps, some anti-inflammatories and that was that. Hadn’t had an issue since. Fast forward several years, to two weeks ago …. and the pain. It started in the right hand. A week later and the left hand joined in … either in sympathy, or solidarity.