Just when I thought my life might be falling back into place … my melon exploded! It’s difficult to explain, it’s harder to accept … Transient Global Amnesia.

It seems I lost a day of my life. Not figuratively. Literally. It’s difficult for me to frame the story, because most of it has been pieced together through investigation and other people’s first hand accounts of the events. Watching all those episodes of “NYPD Blue”, “Law & Order”, and “Homicide: Life On The Street” may have paid off in some odd way … helping me cull information and try to make sense of what happened to me through an investigation of the facts.

Transient Global Amnesia (TGA).  It’s the medical term for what I experienced Friday March 11, 2011. At some point after 3:00 PM my ability to create new memories ceased. Though I was able to walk, talk and see I was not able to remember that entire day. It was as if I was sleepwalking for a good part of the day. Even though I was conscious in the eyes of others, from my perspective there was nothingness. Quiet, painless, darkness. Nothing more. My brain just said “TMI” and flipped a switch and my brain turned off. Radio silence.
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The sins of the father are visited on the son, or so it is said. I don’t know if his sins are, but I certainly know his genes are raising some red flags.

It’s been a crazy month. I’ve spent a good part of it trying to find an orthopedic surgeon to look at my shoulder, my MRI, and give me some answers. I finally found one & I do have some answers. Dr Roberts my new ortho-surge injected my shoulder with cortisone. Yippee-o-ti-aye motherfucker! And it’s working. The pain is subsiding, swelling going down, but there’s still “clicking”. Two out of three ain’t bad! So I’m waiting on a followup with Dr R. But I digress.

Let’s get to it. The heart of the matter. And yes the matter is my heart. And maybe it’s not. Let me explain. A few weeks ago I went to see my primary care physician Dr Rosenfield. It was time for my monthly blood tests. I’m tested every month to monitor a whole host of things, testosterone level, cholesterol, vitamin D level, lipids etc etc. But this time the phlebotomist told me, “Dr Rosenfield wants to add one more test. It’s a new blood test to see if you have any heart issues”. Um. Okay? Continue Reading > > >

I can’t believe that it’s been six weeks since I started working out again. In that six weeks I’ve dropped fifteen pounds. Yes FIFTEEN POUNDS! I have been workin’ my butt of figuratively and literally. And it feels good!

If I were a goal oriented kind of guy … I’d like to be 198 by my 53rd birthday. That might be unrealistic … but hey I sure can try! BTW … for those of you interested and wanting to lavish gifts upon me the date you need to mark in your calendar is January 20, 2010.

All this past summer I was feeling very self-conscious and very ashamed of how “large” I was. None of my previous bathing suits fit me & Chris went out and bought me a single pair of trunks XXL. Fuck! Whether it was the chemotherapy drug (Methotrexate) and the steroid Prednisone I was on last year, fucking up my metabolism & me just feeling like crap for so long … who knows! The end result was being 180 lbs … and not liking it one bit. Continue Reading > > >

Life is dichotomy. Life is duality. The Yin & Yang of light & dark, virtue & evil, up & down … uh … you get the idea. Existential at best. Detached at worst. Round and round goes the world, as does life.

The Good News:

Went to see my pulmonologist today, after a four month hiatus from him or any Sarcoid drugs. He says though active, my Sarcoid is still mild. Like some milk-toast cheddar from Wisconsin. He doesn’t see any link with any of my current symptoms. And let me tell you … there still are plenty.

The Bad News:

In looking at the EKG that Dr Rosenfield did on me a few weeks ago in his office, Dr Raghu says it shows an abnormality. Okay … that’s a scary statement. And looking at my blood test results, my thyroid function is low. Not catastrophic, but this could also add to why I’m still feeling tired. Continue Reading > > >

I feel the need to shower. It’s time to come clean. Not in a drench me with lukewarm  water in an enclosed box kind of thing. I think this is more a metaphoric shower. In my posts talking about my autoimmune disease Sarcoidosis, I’ve always disguised my doctors’ names. It’s time to come clean.

I realized that those folks who do read my posts about Sarcoidosis may be looking for doctors to be their advocates. I know that the process of diagnosis, and just having this disease is emotionally draining. Not knowing where to start, or what doctors to turn to, or ones that even know what the disease is … that’s the hardest part. Not knowing. Feeling alone. Feeling helpless & hopeless.

I guess if I go back an list the characters in this long running play “Living The Sarcoid Life”  I could clear things up. Maybe a list of the ‘advocates’ and the ‘clueless’ might work. But then I also need to think of the liability of talking about the ‘clueless’ … can they sue me for libel? It is only my opinion. For now … just the advocates. Continue Reading > > >

I’m waiting for Godot, or Godar, or maybe François Truffaut, or any of the other directors of “cinéma de la nouvelle vague française”. Actually I’m waiting for Casey, Dr Mike’s assistant to call me back. He’s investigating getting my pulmonologist appointment moved up. It was set for Monday July 11 @ 2:00 PM, but I didn’t want to have to wait through another weekend for him to take a peak at my lungs … as it were.

Miracle of miracles! He did it. Got it moved to today @ 4:00 PM. I have to run to Swedish to pick up my chesty x-rays & other assorted items. Then I’m off to sell CDs for my friend Amy. She’s playing a lunchtime gig at the IDX tower downtown. Anywho … more later. Have to jam …

Thank you Hanz & Franz. Thank you Dr Mike. Steroids is the name. Treating Sarcoidosis is the game. Well as much as one can “treat” this disease. As Dr Mike told me today, “Sarcoidosis is the ‘soft’ diagnosis” for what’s going on with me. In other words … this is what we think it is. Now I will have to follow the yellow brick road from Emerald City Medical Arts to the pulmonologist he will send me to. But right now it’s mega-steroids for the next six day. I just took my first three pills. Five today. Four tomorrow … etc etc etc … for the next six day. So if I talk to you between now & then & I’m a bit “snappish” please forgive me ahead of time … for the drugs know not what they do.

Dr Mike says the roids will help my breathing “issues” … so that’s a good thing. I’m still not sure whether granulomas are forming in my lungs, along with the lymph nodes being enlarged. All I got from our meeting this morning was that the “shadowing” and the lymph node enlargement were probably causing my “breathing issues.” (My words … not Dr M’s.) From all the blood testing I STILL have elevated liver functions. This has been going on for a long time. My liver is also enlarged, according to images from an upper body ultrasound I had a few months ago. His thinking is that, knowing Sarcoidosis can affect any organ, my liver could have been the first casualty. Continue Reading > > >